This guest post on reasons you’re feeling angry as a mom has been provided to us, though all opinions are of the author (bio below).
Parenting can make you feel angry
As a mom, there are many demands on you. You have to nurture your children and teach them essential lessons in life. You’re always on. Whether you’re caring for a sick child or playing a game of Connect Four, there are demands on you; you need to be present and listening to your kids. It’s not always easy to do that, and sometimes, kids can be challenging, and we get angry. You might not even realize what’s making you mad. Here are four common reasons you’re feeling angry as a mom and what to do about it.
Reasons you're feeling angry as a mom
1. Lack of control
When you have a toddler who’s running around the house and destroying things, you might feel a lack of control. That can make you angry. It’s important to remember that there are, unfortunately, things that are out of your control. It might be hard to let go of this feeling, but one thing that can help is to think about the things that are in your control. If your child is running around destroying things, you can take those things away and give them something that they can play rough with, without any consequences. There is a solution to the lack of control, but it’s a matter of realizing that there are only certain things that are within your ability to manage. Feeling a lack of control is understandable; you might feel helpless, but knowing that there are things within your grasp can be comforting. Remember that your feelings are justified and that anger doesn’t make you a bad parent or a terrible person.
2. When your kid isn’t listening to you
It can be very frustrating when you tell your child what needs to be done, and they won’t listen. It can make you angry, but butting heads with your child is part of being a parent. Remember that as mad as it’s making you, it’s okay if you argue with your child. The first thing that you need to do is take a break. You don’t have to repeat yourself if your child isn’t listening; instead, it’s essential to take a breather when you’re mad. If you take a break, you can step away from the situation temporarily and return to it with new eyes. Naturally, kids will ignore you from time to time, and taking a break when it happens can help you avoid letting anger overtake you.
3. When you’re not getting a break
When you feel like you’re doing so much all of the time as a parent, it’s understandable that you feel angry, but there are things that you can do in response to that anger. It’s essential to be able to say to your partner, “Hey, I need to take a break,” and go out to dinner with a friend or see a movie. If you’re a single parent, you can ask a family member, friend, or babysitter to watch your kids while you get some me-time. Expressing your needs is essential. You need to be able to clear your head, and in fact, it’ll help you be the best mom that you can be. It’s normal to be frustrated and stressed out if you’re not getting a break. Everyone needs time to themselves, and it’s justified if you feel overwhelmed and burnt out.
4. If your child isn’t succeeding academically
It’s upsetting when you see your child struggling in school. It’s important to remember that every child is different and that we all learn at a different pace. If your child refuses to complete schoolwork, struggles with not wanting to go to school or isn’t scoring well on assignments; there could be an abundance of reasons why. It might be that they’re not in a learning environment where they can thrive, that the teacher isn’t a good fit, they have a learning disability, that they’re suffering from a lack of academic confidence, or something else. If your child isn’t succeeding academically and it’s upsetting you, it might be time to sit down with your child and see what’s going on. You never know what could be beneath the surface of issues in school, and having a conversation about it can help you find a solution.
Anger is real as a parent
If you’re feeling mad, it’s understandable. One place to discuss your anger is with a mental health professional or therapist. A local counselor can help address these issues; you might go to regular sessions independently, or if your child is struggling, they may benefit from seeing a mental health professional as well. As a busy parent, it can be hard to find the time to attend in-person therapy sessions, so consider seeing a therapist online if you feel that it might be a better option for you. No matter what you decide to do in terms of accessing a provider, seeing a therapist can be an excellent outlet for your feelings.
Marie Miguel Biography
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.