I have both grandparents on my mom’s side still, and I paid tribute to them all in an earlier post. This post is all about my grandma that passed away, who wasn’t even blood related, but still one of the closest people in my life.
I met Helen Rose when I was 5 years old. My mom and soon to be step dad had just gotten together and we took a trip down to Indiana to meet his family. She had a beautiful house and huge yard. I always felt at home there, since I was a little kid.
I went to spend 3 weeks of summer vacation down there when I was 9 years old. She took me to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit with one of her lady friends. I had a great summer. Through the years, we went to visit for holidays and such, but never spent very much time there.
When I was 14, we lost our apartment because my parents were addicts and didn’t pay the rent. I stayed with my mom and baby sister at my mom’s friend’s house for a while and my dad stayed in a back room at his work. It was horrible. I found needles at that house and my mom told me they weren’t for drugs, that they must have been left from the woman’s boyfriend.
She finally shipped my sister {2 years old} and I off to Indiana to stay with my grandma. For weeks my grandma and I took care of this little baby. I tried to leave. She wouldn’t let me, and I got in a huge fight with my grandma and said very hurtful, hateful and mean things to her. Things I would later regret. See the thing is, I had this boyfriend I loved so much, and I couldn’t live without him. But he went on just fine without me and even found another girlfriend, who my supposed best friend hooked him up with. I hated everyone for making me leave. I had nothing in my life, and now I lost the only person who I thought cared.
I finally got to go home, but we soon moved to Indiana to live with my grandma again right before I turned 15. By this time my mom was pregnant with another baby. My grandma, cousins and I took care of all the kids while my parents worked and partied. I finally talked my mom into moving back to Wisconsin and we did so in April. We were here for about a year or so, then got kicked out of our house again. I now had another baby brother and the 4 of us got shipped off to Indiana when I was 16. We stayed for a month or so then got to come back home.
Throughout all of this, my grandma took care of us all. She also had my other 2 cousins most of the time because their mom wasn’t much better than my parents were. I got close to her, but not that close until after I turned 18.
My parents moved back to Indiana right after I moved out of the house soon after my 18th birthday. After a few months, my roommate decided she had to move back home because she couldn’t afford it anymore. So I went to Indiana for a few months. My grandma and I grew very close. You see, I was an adult now, and I knew and understood everything that had went on my whole life. We would stay up late, chain smoke and talk for hours. We talked about her life, my life, my parents, the kids, you name it. But we had a special bond that would stay with me for the rest of my life. I told her so many things about me and my life, and she never judged me one bit. She accepted me, faults and all. Unconditional love, that was her gift to me.
I knew that this woman, who wasn’t even blood, would be there for me whenever I needed her, for the rest of my life. I loved her for that, loved her dearly. I was closer to her than to anyone else in my family.
She died 3 years ago and my life instantly changed the moment I found out. I lost it. I became depressed and angry, crying all the time. I couldn’t help it. The one stable thing I had in my life was gone. I never got to say goodbye. I was so busy packing and getting ready to move into this house, that I hadn’t talked to her in at least a month. I felt so guilty. I live with that guilt every day of my life.
That woman will never, ever be forgotten and she will always be a fond memory. My times with her were some of the dearest in my life.
Happy Grandparents Day